Midget sex pt 2 tonight
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
