This girl is more easily done than said...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
