I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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