There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
