when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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