my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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