Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
