I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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