All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize