I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
