I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
