so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Congratulations! We have a period
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