i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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