we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
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I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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