I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
