You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My pussy is not your playground.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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