I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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