Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize