I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize