what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
