White coat. Heels.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
