she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
