I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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