I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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