We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
