Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
