the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
it's like iHOP with fire
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
