that's an acceptable place to lick
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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