so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize