Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
