Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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