Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My vagina is very pro this idea
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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