OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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