Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
