He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize