if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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