Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
last night I used snow as a chaser
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
