At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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