and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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