Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
His hands were made for my vagina.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
