This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
