i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
