In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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