literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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