Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
