Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize