I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
