my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
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This house was built for laser tag.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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