I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
