There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
