I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
