would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
