Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
