Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
