ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
BRING THE BAGELS
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
