im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
