you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
