well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
