Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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