whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
