...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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