Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize