Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
