Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
