dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
