it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize