Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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