Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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